i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
