I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
