so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
