Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
