what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
