just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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