let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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