i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
