btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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