i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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