He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
