I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
