I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
