Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
