Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
