she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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