Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
