remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
