He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
