We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize