reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
