'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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