Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
