I could have mohawked her pubes.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize