It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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