you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
