Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
