New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize
