So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He shit in the fireplace
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
