smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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