fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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