And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
