I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Randomize
