is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
