you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize