i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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