We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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