I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
