whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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