btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
