My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
