sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
