Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
