Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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