im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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