oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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