She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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