i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize