Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
