apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
