He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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