Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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