You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
