I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
