The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize