I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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