I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
