it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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