is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My pussy is not your playground.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize