BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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