She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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