I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
